"At the same time...."

So, Here’s how the past 24 hrs went. 
(you can play a drinking game to how many times I have to say: "At the same time")

I found out yesterday that I will be illegal in Peru in 2 days. **I want to interject quickly that I complain (in my heart & soul…if not out loud) EVERYDAY that there’s no warm water at the house. I’ve LITTERALLY had 2 warm showers this past month…but as soon as I complain, next thing I know, there’s no water. AT ALL. Obviously, that sux. And so now I’ve had 3 days of buying 3L bottles of water to wash in a salad bowl, in my shower stall.

I WISH I WERE KIDDING. 

Today, before I raced off to Chile, I splurged and snuck the boiled water from the kitchen & added it to my freezing bottle of water…which took it down to just ‘cold.’

So, back to the ‘why-I-raced-off-to-Chile’ part.  Yesterday I found out **that after continual reassurance from Euroidiomas** that they never actually DID the paperwork for my work permit, or any of the other Americans in this program. And by Sunday I am illegally in Peru, since my tourist visa expires on the 30th.

It was all the biggest load of BS. Everyone’s blaming the next person. So Daniel (Intrax) comes to the school yesterday & raises heck (supposedly) with Alejandra & Sr. Lasso...but I’m not so sure how much ‘heck’ he raised since right after this, I saw Alejandra in the hall & she sang “Helloooo Emily” to me.

Next thing I know, I have to leave the country just so I can return & get another tourist visa.

How this all goes down is so riddled with anxiety I’ll bet your paycheck I’ll be grinding my teeth while my eczema flares up, within the week.   (we literally make $350/month here)

Ok. So. For sure I have to leave Peru very soon (the word ‘reimbursement’ is being thrown around a lot). Obviously I’m kinda freaking out.

…so you’re tellin’ me, I need to leave the country, maybe take a 20+ hour bus ride to the boarder (frontera) …or fly to Bolivia, for all I know at this point.

Also, remember:  I am a girl.   I am alone.   I don’t speak Spanish that well.

W.T.Heck!

I wake up Friday to Daniel urgently calling me that I need to leave TODAY & where do I want to go?   SERIOUSLY?! I don’t know my way around Lima that well, let alone where’s it safe for me to run off to in S. America!?

We settle on Chile because it’s a double holiday weekend (Halloween & something Catholic. ironic), so the city won't be busy.

WHILE all this planning is going on, #1 I have to grade & enter this month’s final exams into a computer, cancel my classes for Fri & Sat *while dealing w/ the attitude of the office girls at school for cancelling my classes. 
....& at the same time, another teacher is trying to get me to teach conversation classes this weekend at some location -that I don’t know- and then at the same time she's trying to orchestrate me w/ some friends of hers in Chile.

Also, Martin (host dad) is now in the Kentucky, US of A  (for the FIRST time in his life)  for a dentist-chair-parts manufacturing convention.
Believe it.

...he needs to make a speech & power point presentation IN ENGLISH.  His English is basically non-existent, so I’ve been asking to help him to translate this speech for about 2 months. But TODAY,  ya, TO-freakin-DAY, is the day he decides to give it to me (*by email from Kentucky), while Marlene tries in her elementary-English to pre-translate, which is a disaster, & then gets her feelings hurt every time I correct her errors.

ALSO at the same time there is an -albeit minor- EARTHQUAKE!  
(((I literally thought it was me at first)))

At this same time all the kids get home from school (which by the way happens to be some “special presentation day” at school. There are traditional dance costumes and a Jean-Benet Ramsey level of make-up involved ...and much to tell/be excited about, of course).
AGAIN, AT THE SAME TIME this little ^ circus comes to town... Vanesa’s tutor shows up for a lesson while Mirian (maid/nanny) is trying to make me stop & eat lunch.

PS I’m also supposed to be getting/finding an apartment this weekend with Peter &/or Paula so I can finally have a freaking shower & check my freaking email at home for a change.

I am suffocating & about to explode at this point. Then, in the middle of all this, Daniel calls (3pm) again with a flight for me to Santiago, Chile that leaves at 7pm (aka in 4hrs). So I need to finish Martin’s speech, “shower”, pack & then 1^st go to Intrax office to pick up an international phone & be at the airport by 5pm SINCE IT IS AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT.

This does not go down without a hitch. Everything is obviously running behind schedule, this girl from school, with the best intensions won’t leave me alone for 5 minutes trying to hook me up w/ people & things to do in Chile. Which is all soo very nice but not cognizant of my stressful situation & current lack of mental space.

So Daniel ends up taking me to the airport, *on a Friday evening, *during rush hour, *on a holiday weekend.

You do the math.

Right before we get to the airport he hands me 140soles ($51.50 US) & then drops me off in front of which feels like Baghdad’s airport, at an entrance that a guy with a bloody eye is yelling at me not to use.  I have my computer & purse & have to take off running. Daniel has to find parking & promises to bring my other bag to the gate.  So I’m standing in line when this massive 6’8” guy ON A LITTLE BICYCLE rolls up next to me shouting my name. It’s Daniel, with my bag.  All of Peru (in my opinion) are stare-aholics …they stare ALL THE TIME. So, obviously, I think is crazyness... but no one even looks twice at me, Daniel & this mini-bike racing thru the airport!

My itinerary said LimaàSantiago …but what it didn’t mention is that Chile’s Immigration Police are in another city, 2 hours before you get to Santiago.  So we land in Antofagasta & I am completely confused. Where am I? Why are we here?  What the what is going on?  & not to be so "American" but why isn't there at least 1 person who can speak English in this airport!?!?

the plane-food wasnt' that bad.. but they somehow sneak an olive & a hard-boiled egg into everything!

Finally I get to Santiago, Chile at like 3am. The cab to my hotel is $35USD.  (I’m remembering the word “Reimburse” with trepidation). 

The next morning *AKA, a few hours later* Yoko’s friend Jorge calls me to take me around for the day…he was personally quite busy with work etc. that day,  but it seems to be culturally obligatory to show foreigners around when asked. So he took me to  pick up his parents & we all went to Chile’s version of Wal-Mart; “Jumbo.”  Since I have some type of imaginary expense-acct. for this trip, they let me buy wine & 2 whole chickens for lunch.  Jorge has to eat n run so I spend the afternoon with his parents, sisters, niece & nephew…none of which speak English.  We end up watching the Hangover II  which is filthy-funny but nobody understands it since it’s all in English.

His sisters also introduce met to this concoction:

Hours later Jorge returns & the next thing I know, we're going to, apparently, a special event with their sister-church from another city. Jorge plays in the church band &  so they invite me.

Ok. They’re Pentecostal. So it turned out to be like 3-4 hours there, but it was good to be in church all the same.  I went back home with them, ate dinner & tried some home-made prickly-pear moonshine & then, EXAUSTED, went back to the hotel….aka home-of-the-best-shower-in-my-life.  Yoko was again trying to get me to go out w/ her friend that night or the next morning…which only gives me anxiety…all I wanna do is sleep, watch Spanish-dubbed cable, & take warm showers (repeat). 
So I get back about 2:30am Saturday nite & finally fall asleep about 4 (couldn't sleep - this is the first time I’ve seen television in MONTHS!) ….& this girl calls me at 6am to do a tour of the beach or something. She’s very sweet but she talks so so so much & I’m not even thru my 1^st R.E.M. cycle. (If you know me, you know I'm not a morning person.)  
I say 'maybe'  & she says she’ll be at my hotel in ½ an hour.

Luckily my flight left earlier so I ended up getting out of this 'play-date'

I’m typing this on my flight from Antofagasta, Chile & the view of the mountains from the airplane is just spectacular.  But my plane window was dirty,  so you'll just have to take my word for it..